………………..YOUR VERY OWN I really do not know where to start but I am grateful that he has brought me this far. He reminds me that he was there throug…
………………..YOUR VERY OWN
I really do not know where to start but I am grateful that he has brought me this far. He reminds me that he was there through all the times. He was waiting patiently for me. He was fulfilling his promises and through the darkness he put his permanent light. Throughout the years I have learnt many lessons in life but one has repeated itself several times. I could not understand then why all this happens repeatedly but now I do and would like to encourage someone who has found themselves in such a situation.
“He gives strength to the weary and increase the power of the weak.”
I know many of us have had our closest people around us. We have selected specific people to surround our camp. This may be our friends or our family members. In life we find many people around us but one alarming thing we never recall is that we need to choose our space and them. Many of us have been hurt by our very own close ones. If there is something that hurts most in life is the heart pierce of your loved one. This hurt pains down the spine in an imaginable way that makes us regret very much.
Well I have decided that I will not regret again. My past experiences are enough lessons for life. For a very long time my best friend, lover and husband tried to warn me against too much closure to many people. He tried all his best to protect me from pain ahead the years but it not dawn on me till when it faced me and that is when I writhed enough pain that would take me through the years living my life.
Friends are good but true friends are rare. Make sure you do not become a victim of your very own turning their backs on you especially the time you need them the most, but incase they do it is okay to have a lesson and learn. Few people will be happy for you when you are happy that is one true fact. In my times of need I only found few people in my arena worried about me. The rest would pass by me and smile as if they did not know what was happening
Well, this has taught me to be there for my very own whenever they need me. I desire to be an extraordinary friend to those who share my friendship world. Christ has taught me to care and love genuinely just as him. In all things I want to be strong for those who are weak and even be a tear wiper to them that are full of hurts and pains in their lives. My name is Damaris which means I care and counsel especially those who are in needs. Never leave your very own people atlist stay and walk with them through the storm. They may not thank you then but they will live to remember.
Your very own Damaris …………
My fishing in the narrow river
Counting two days to finally enter his life officially. It still looks like a dream to me. When I met him I knew at glance that it was him. Deep convictions and visions kept on striking me to let the words of the heart out of my mouth but it was still impossible. For some reason I wanted it to be the way it was for a long while. I loved seeing him and smiling to myself secretly. They say that the best kind of love is the one that you never say anything and you leave knowing the person gave you the best feeling ever in life.
Meeting him was by grace I tell people, at the time I knew him I was broken in my heart and was trying to pick up the pieces of my life together again. The least I wanted was another one to break my heart. After my previous ordeal I consecrated myself to build my relationship with Christ then the rest would come later. “We will make a home up there…..”Those were the words my spiritual father whom surprisingly is my husband today told me when he introduced me to the real world of spirituality.
Today I want to confess that I took these words in a very spiritual way and I can already see my prayer has been answered. We are now heading to make a home together in the next few hours which probably I will be saying ‘I do’. It is the best feeling ever to get married to the man whom God has chosen for you and given you freely.
I recall walking with some friends who laughed at how I had named my prince charming in my phone contacts. I called him Gods’ gift which always reminded me of the scriptures that the gifts of God are not of pain and sorrow but they bring so much joy. Well, their laughter did not scare or pull me down, infact I was more than encouraged, Trust me you that is reading this article that very few friends will be happy for you when you are blessed especially when you move to a new level of relationship cut down your trust on friends and transfer it to your God given man.
Honestly speaking my journey with him was not that easy…I’m sorry to tell you this but I tend to shed tears whenever I remember yet I thank God because of the strength he gave me through it all. We passed through ups and downs, valleys and hills were in every corner of our love life. Many are the times I would wake up in the cold night to pray against the work of the enemies. God promises us that even when a thousand come to our right and ten thousand to our left he will fight for his children. Indeed he fought for us and proved he is a God of them that trust in him.
The most painful experiences I remember were the betrayal episodes of my closest friends. People whom I called my sisters and brothers in Christ. Till today I still struggle to forget but I forgave them. It pains to the spine to be pierced by your very own. May God help you come across true people in your life. Be careful because the devil can use anyone. I was left and denied like Jesus Christ. Today I take pride in the fact that I am stronger and wiser. As I said before and will repeat nobody will be happy when you are blessed. Don’t go spreading your blessings to everyone…….keep your dream to yourself.
Back to where we started that was just but a break. So now I’m supposed to pack everything and say goodbye to my family. Wow, this man has taught me the true meaning of forgiveness, patience, strength and true Christianity. I love him to the moon and back. I would ask for no one else but still him. His weaknesses are my strengths and I know we have a bright future together. I found my rib and my rib found me. It has been a narrow journey but the narrow road of our love life has increased our love for Christ more and more each day. I respect and adore him so much. He remains to be my God given gift till death do us part. I love you and always will as we enter this great future ahead. We bless God for this unity. Only we know the story to tell……..
I have so much to tell but I will save the rest for part two and continue packing my suitcase………………..
I wake up this morning with this verse in my heart;
“Tell the righteous it will be well with them,
for they will enjoy the fruit of their deeds.”
Then the big questions begin to zoom in my mind without giving me any rest; What is righteousness? Am i righteous? I believe the reason why the verse intrigued me is because i really desire to enjoy the fruits of my labor here on earth and above all in heaven. Many of us want a smooth life full of joy, peace and love. Very few want to face the struggles of trials and temptations. I assume perhaps many of us would like a peaceful environment where there is everything we need.In short we desire full satisfaction that cannot be given by normal human beings except by God himself. But now for God to bless us with all this we have to do one thing in return for him and that would be taking the righteousness he is talking about with much zeal if we want his full satisfaction.
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.”
To be righteous is more or so related to being perfect in God’s ways.For this to take place he needs you to make him his perfect match for you above everything else you have.Through this you will become a perfectly satisfied child of God in your life.Please grant me the permission to tell you of the story that made me realize how i needed to be fully satisfied with my Christ purposed life before disappearing from this earth. It was then that i knew i needed to depend on a much higher authority than man. Trust me you that is reading this post when i tell you that life is short……but for the well lived people they will never regret how they lived their life. Infact they will term it as a long life for them…..which you will not understand why but this is it…….
Three months ago i had to take some days at home to help in the preparation of the burial of my grandfather. They happened to be the most boring days sorry to say because of the view of masses of people coming day by day not to smile and celebrate but to offer comfort and support. I vividly recall on a thursday afternoon after my class visiting him in Kenyatta National hospital where he had been admitted and believe you me seeing him on that hospital bed helpless counting days to rest was not easy. I remember running out filled with lots of tears and pain in me as i secluded myself in a quiet place. It was here that i shed tears uncontrollably and the painful part was when i looked at the life he had lived. It was not a satisfying life.
I went back in his room after some while and asked him if he had gotten saved? Actually this was my main aim of coming to visit him that day.My grandpa had not found the perfect addiction the last time i was with him. He was a man addicted to alcohol and cigarettes all his life. He answered me that yes he had received salvation with a straining voice in the presence of my aunty who had been with him since morning. My aunt confirmed of that after i looked at her with my watery eyes. I went ahead and questioned him who had helped him confess about his salvation and amazingly he could recall it was a certain lady pastor who he could not tell the name. Satisfying enough he confessed with his mouth before us that he had accepted Christ as his savior….well this gave me a smile but i knew that is not what i would want for my life > > > >
Believe me you that has not yet received the perfect addiction of Christ , you are missing the whole point of living. How many of you want to give their life to Christ in their hospital beds? Or how many want to do so when they are old holding their walking sticks? If any of you loves Christ let him do so when he or she is young. It is for you to just find him, hold him,walk with him and you will live the perfect life that you have always admired.
For me i know i am not perfect either but what i know is i prefer getting addicted to God’s love rather than any worldly material. Drugs, alcohol, immorality and the rest of the secular things that the world holds at your face are very sweet and very addictive but they have no good life in them.The perfect life is found in God…seek him and you shall find him!
Let none of you think it is too late to find him, Christ came to save the lost, heal the seek and set the captives free. It does not matter what kind of addiction you might be having but i lay hope to you from God that he can set you free and get you back on track. Do not be afraid and do not be discouraged by anything that comes your way because when you have him my brother and my sister you have everything. I as Damaris i have found him and i know since then my life has never been the same. Please come to my side and receive him because he will make you perfect …….
“So do not fear, for I am with you;do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
I am sure many of us have come to that point where you get weary of the continuous situations affecting the joy in your life. I have come across this many times and i remember calling to God and pleading, “Hey God , we need to talk now. This is too much……” Well i do this because i believe that having joy in my heart is preeminent especially when it comes from God, therefore anything that cuts it short is not of good at all.
Nehemiah anchors it all out in a better tone for me and tells that the joy of the lord is his strength. In all my moments of despair and weakness i look up to the lord for a smile. Allow me to introduce to you the background of when it all happened,but perhaps you may not understand the exact day i discovered this significant breakthrough because of the many occasions i encountered,but one thing you will note is that i truly agreed and came to a conclusion that i needed him more than anyone else……….
It is amazing to say that during the weekend God promised his people on how he would give them a new beginning. I was more than revived when he went ahead and told them this would be so only if they forgot about the former things of the past. I was more than ready to delete all my pains, anger, bitterness, burdens, heartaches and miseries when i discovered that i was not the only one harboring such in me. I could see the people of God fall down in tears and letting go so as to let God in. I was ashamed of having carried such emotional baggage in me yet Christ had called me severally to lay them at his feet.Let me admit that i found an incredible rest when i did as per his commands and that is when i knew indeed he loved me this much.
Back in my moments of weakness when i thought i was finished and had no way out, when i passed through the darkest path in my life alone, i thought i had lost everything, i had no friend to tell, i trusted no one but just my only friend ‘pillow‘ who i can say new all my sorrows. It was there where every morning and evening before i could retire to bed that i would shed my normal tears and sleep. It was during this period i wanted to disappear from the world and live alone. I had the most spacious vacuum in my heart and hence this made me feel the most lonely person on earth. Have you ever questioned God? I had endless questions for him……….i actually thought he had forgotten about me.
I know many of you have reached this point where you walk smiling to people but deep down your heart is writhing in alot of pain.As if not enough, the sharp pains increase when you actually meet with the people that have contributed to your misery and all you want is to hurt them to but amazingly you pass by them smiling and saying,”hey” wishing in your thoughts they do not reply back. Remember it becomes worse when they are the same people you loved most………………>>>>>
This is the season you realize you need God more than anyone else. At such a time i would recall his promises from Isaiah 54:10 “For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken,” says the LORD, who has mercy on you.” I would then comfort my self in God and that would be my turning point.
Since when i learnt that all i needed was him, i seeked his comfort alone and my song of tears changed to a song of jubilation. This became my new song.
God, hear my cry;
pay attention to my prayer.
I call to You from the ends of the earth
when my heart is without strength.
Lead me to a rock that is high above me,
for You have been a refuge for me,
a strong tower in the face of the enemy.
I will live in Your tent forever
and take refuge under the shelter of Your wings. Selah
Truly,since then i have not only seen his hand in my life but i have seen his face encouraging me day by day. My storms he has turned into achievements and my enemies he has delivered them. I seek his counsel, his love, mercy and abounding grace which he pours unto me every single day that i wake up. I now walk as a daughter of the most high because he has given me a new name.
Maybe you are there and you have been called names that are not pleasing, you have been rejected by friends and family, you have had a painful life, maybe your business is not working and you feel as if all hope is lost. I encourage you today that you don’t need anyone to help you but only him that is above. Do not depend on man dear one otherwise you will be disappointed more.Find joy and strength God and you will be encouraged all the days. You should know that he is seeking for the weak and he assures them he will make them strong.
I write to give hope to the many that felt their journey was cut short in one way or another. May you find the new revelation that God is watching and you do not have to be worried. It might take time to finally get there but he is saying he is still on time. Do not give up on God because all you need is him.
Take a deep breath,forget about everything else, forget about family & friends, forget about yourself and focus on him.Do not please anyone else but him alone no matter what will be said about you. He surely will do something beautiful for you. If you thought you had fallen please pick up your mat and walk because he will do something new in your life. Do not look behind continue walking. He is the God of a second chance to all who feel they are not worthy before him.I tell you that when i knew it was all about him i forgot how my tears looked like and i rejoice everyday of my life!
When this day comes I am always left trembling at the fact that I think I am getting old. Well getting old has always been my greatest fear especially when I view the picture that my energy then cannot be compared to the one I have now. It is not once or twice that I have asked God the same question; what can I do to remain young forever? Well I have never gotten the exact answer from him but what I hear him whisper to me is to serve him forever……..
Today as I woke up to once again celebrate another fruitful year, I only made one prayer to God. I looked up and told him, “Help me to be in your service forever.” It is my wish and greatest prayer this day to remain with the Lord forever. I want to walk with him every single day, I want to love him and serve him like I will never again in life.
This walk with the lord has been the sweetest journey ever. I have found joy and fulfillment in every single way. Many are the times I look back and I sing the same song that the Israelites sung when they were brought back from captivity to Zion, the bible records in psalms 126:1-2 that they were like men who dreamed, their mouths had been filled with laughter and their tongues with songs of joy and they all said that the lord had done great things for them.
Today I want to shout it out also of the great things that the lord has done. I am humbled at the grace that he has laid upon me and I am suppressed by the mighty love which he has for me. He has selflessly loved me more than even the many friends I have had. His love has had no condition or cost. I am sure I belong to him and that is why I want to be with him forever. I want to live by his word and stand in his promises forever.
I celebrate my love relationship with Christ this day because he is the only one that has made me stand in this long journey. I am yet to live and tell my children of the beautiful story I have had with my journey in Christ. I remember I promised him that I will make my home a safe heaven. It will be a house full of the glory, a husband who loves him more than any other and children that will love him forever. I and my house we shall serve the lord forever because we know it is only by him we live.
I am yet to reveal to the world of the great love in this God. I am yet to fulfill my purpose. I want to inspire as many people as I can come across and tell them about this great friend called Jesus. I will worship, sing and preach him like I will never again in life. My life will be a living testimony to many out there that are looking for this God. My family will be a voice of hope to them that need encouragement in this journey. My husband whom I love very much will be happiest man because our marriage will be a fulfillment of the ministry that God will put in us to deliver to his children. That is why I will fight till I get there………Let me remind you that the bigger the storms the bigger the ministry brethren, so do not fear the storm because he that is above is the calmer of storms.
Dear lord thank you for bringing me this far. I thank you for you have been my strength, and as Habakkuk 3:19 says indeed I agree you have made my feet like that of a deer and you have enabled me to go on the heights. The battles that came my way you told me not to fight that you have gone ahead of them. I watched you help me overcome the biggest storms that I never thought I would conquer.Lord you reminded me every day that you that is in me is greater than any other that is in this outside world. You taught me the best value of forgiveness which I am passionate about till today. I cannot forget when you told me in a louder voice, “Damaris forgiveness will cost you nothing…..just forgive forever and you will live happily forever.”
I thank you for the gift of parents, special friends and the family that you brought in my life and the amazing God you are, you have enabled them take me this far. You are the best daddy, a father that loves unconditionally even with all our blemishes is you that is highly above. Be exalted magnificent one.All I know is that, I surely will live to serve you LORD!